It’s difficult sometimes, to know when to move on from something, a job that isn’t making you passionate about it anymore, a relationship which you wanted so badly to work out but just isn’t a good fit any longer, a friendship that has run its course. I’m guilty for hanging on too long, in the hope that things will change, will improve, that I don’t have to close the door, and it’s not really been too successful for me, truth be told. I end up getting hurt, instead of walking away when I should.
So, here are some signs that it’s time to call it quits on that job, relationship, friendship, or anything that simply isn’t making you smile anymore.
It’s One Sided
If you are the only one in a relationship making the effort, if it feels like you care more than they do, don’t hang on to see if things will change, their actions are telling you how they truly feel, even if their words are contradictory. It can be so difficult to decide when to call time on a relationship, especially if you were together for a long time, or the connection was strong, if you have children together, got married, bought a house. It can be tough navigating a life without them in it, but ask yourself if you want to look back on your life in ten, twenty years and regret decisions you made. Let’s face it, if things aren’t right and they aren’t happy either, the alternative is getting your heart broken instead of finding the strength to walk away.
It’s Affecting Your Mental Health
If your job is making you feel sad or anxious, if you dread getting up and going in to work each morning, or if you simply feel like it isn’t working out for you anymore and it’s getting you down, don’t stay because you feel obliged to, or because that’s the safe option. It can be hard, especially when you have a friendly team around you, to give that up and move on to something new, but if it’s affecting how you feel, and your well-being, you need to rip the bandaid and find something which lights your fire again.
You Would Advise a Friend to Leave
We are often so tough on ourselves, compared to how we treat a friend, and the same goes for seeing the reality of a situation when we are the ones living through it. If you are unhappy, try and stop and look at what is going on as if it were happening to a close friend instead of you. Would you give the advice to carry on in a toxic relationship? To put up with being treated badly by a friend? Staying in a job that you no longer enjoy? No, probably not, because when it comes to supporting others, and giving them the advice and guidance they are looking for, we are often a lot more practical than we are with ourselves. If you would encourage a friend to find that inner strength and walk away, do it for yourself, because you deserve to be happy.
You’ve Lost That Smile
So you used to be best friends, the closest two people could be, and now you don’t understand why that’s changed, why they’ve distanced themselves from you? It can be incredibly hard when a friendship breaks down, especially if there is no real reason for it, but why hang on to something which isn’t making you happy anymore? If a friendship is one sided, if it feels like a huge effort to get them to spend time with you, or they make you cry more than they make you smile, find the courage to leave the friendship. Some friendships aren’t destined to last forever, some people come into our lives to teach us a lesson, to give support at a time we need it, and then end, or change direction. It doesn’t make you a bad person to leave a friendship that is no longer working, it’s kinder to walk than leave somebody hanging on.
It’s Abusive
If your boss is bullying you, your partner is belittling you, or your former friend is using you as a metaphorical punching bag, don’t feel trapped into staying. You deserve to be happy, and sometimes that means cutting ties with the people or jobs that you once loved, to find yourself again and keep yourself safe from harm whether that’s physical, mental or emotional. If something is causing you pain, if you are suffering, don’t stay because that’s the easy option, ask for support if you need it, and move on to better things. I promise, they’re out there.
