Back when I was planning my wedding three years ago, I felt like everything was getting on top of me a little. Although I had experience as a wedding coordinator in the UK, I didn’t know much about getting married abroad, and our wedding planners both in England and Greece seemed to be intent on making things more stressful, rather than less. I would have loved to have spoken to somebody who had been through it all and reached the other side, so I have written this open letter to anybody in the middle of planning their wedding.
To the bride to be who is elbow deep in wedding invites, menu choices and fabric cuttings, I know it seems like everything is weighing down on you right now. Perhaps your partner is supportive, keen to be involved with the wedding plans, or perhaps, like mine, they don’t really have much of an interest in this aspect of getting married.
That’s ok. It doesn’t mean they aren’t interested in marrying you, or of the wedding itself, it just might not seem that important to them whether the guests have bathroom baskets or flip flops for tired feet, or to consider where people are sat in relation to each other to prevent arguments. Try not to let it cause arguments between you two. Explain why things are important to you, but remember to take time out from the wedding plans for a bit and enjoy spending time together as a couple, like you did before you got engaged.
It may seem right now, that your friends aren’t there for you, and perhaps some of them aren’t. It is true that weddings show you who is there for you to some extent, but remember that although this is a huge milestone in your life, it is just another day for those close to you. Of course they are happy for you, and they will be there for you to celebrate, but everybody has their own lives, their own struggles. Just because they aren’t jumping up and down with excitement constantly, or offering their help in the lead up to the big day, it doesn’t mean they love you any less. Try and cut them some slack, don’t cut ties too quickly.
It’s true what they say about your wedding day. It goes so quickly, so try and enjoy every moment, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. It’s a special day, but what comes after is the important part. The marriage is the reason for the wedding. This is the start of the next chapter of your life. Although those little decisions are taking over everything currently, they won’t even be something you fully remember from the day itself. The things that will stand out are the looks on your loved one’s faces. The way your partner reacts to seeing you for the first time, the way you both smile as you say your vows, the feeling as you turn to face everybody after you have made it official. Those are the moments you will remember from that day, the rest will just fade away.
So, I think what I am trying to say to you right now is, although it can feel like you are lost in a sea of wedding plans right now, and maybe you are feeling a bit overwhelmed, remember to slow down and enjoy yourself. Don’t take wedding planning too seriously, the important thing is that you and your partner get to say ‘I do’, everything else is just extra.