10 Times it Sucks to be Female 

Sometimes I love being a girl. There’s nothing better than a day spent clothes shopping, followed by being pampered at a spa and going for a couple of Proseccos. Sometimes, however, life as a female is hell, at these times I think life would be a lot easier if I had a penis… 

  
1. That moment when you sit down in a public toilet only to realise some disgusting person has peed on the seat and you now have someone else’s urine on your skin… 

2.THAT time of the month… Need I elaborate? Mood swings, the hassle, the period pain, the constant urge to eat your body weight in chocolate. And then, if it’s more than a day late, the panic that you could be pregnant. 

3. Talking of pregnancy… Child birth. What a killer! Don’t ask me why I put myself through it twice already (and will more than likely go for a third time lucky at some point). Yes, your body produces a hormone that makes you forget ‘some’ of the pain. But that part you remember, my Lord does it kill! 

4. High heels. Yes, they’re beautiful and yes, they make my legs look lovely and long when I wear them, and yes, they can jazz up even the most laid back outfit. But do they have to hurt so damn much? Especially on a night when you’ve *perhaps* drunk a little too much White wine and Prosecco and danced a bit more than was wise… 

5. Spending hard earned money on all the makeup, razors, conditioner, highlights, nail varnish etc that it takes to make you look like you do on a daily basis. 

6. Following up on that, the sheer amount of time it takes to prepare yourself for any event. Just washing my hair feels like a military operation, factoring in time to towel and blow dry my hair before we need to leave the house. Meanwhile, Ed can be ready within minutes as his hair just takes a little gel and he’s sorted. 

7. Being the one to get asked about life’s important milestones. So, when are you going to get married/have a baby? 

8. The time when you’re desperate for a wee and your partner can just slap it out anywhere and pee and you have to cross your legs tightly and hope for the best until you locate a toilet. 

9. Cystitis, Thrush and all those other nasty things that women tend to suffer from more than men. 

10. Being spoken over when buying a car, anything electrical, renting or buying a house. Ok, perhaps occasionally my partner may have a better idea on these things, but if I’m the one who’s going to be buying and using it, surely I shouldn’t be made to feel redundant and invisible? 

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