So you may have noticed that I’ve missed a couple of posts lately (or you may not, it totally depends on how often you read my blog I guess). The main reason behind this is because a couple of weeks ago I came to a very important decision, actually by accident initially.
That decision was to come off my antidepressants. A decision that should never be taken lightly, but one that was even more important because I’m pregnant.
Obviously I have had several discussions with my midwife and consultant, and doctors regarding the best decision and initially the plan was to just reduce the dosage down and deliver whilst still on a small dose of the tablets. This was deemed safest as they wanted me to be stable enough in my mental health to cope with the pregnancy, and to be able to look after my other two children as well. The only thing they would need to monitor would be the baby after birth in case he developed symptoms of withdrawal from the tablets once he was no longer inside me. So this was the plan.
I went down from 30mg daily to 20mg to 10mg over the course of a few months, and this was going ok. However, a couple of weeks ago I missed a few tablets, and I realised it had been a few days and I wasn’t really feeling too bad. When I mentioned it to Ed, we decided we would both be happier for me to come off the tablets completely, if safe to do so, before the baby came, and so I stopped the tablets.
Initially there was a withdrawal period where my hormones went a bit all over the place and I was very snappy and even less fun to be around than usual. I also felt very spaced out and lightheaded, which was a little scary. I spoke with my consultant and my midwife and both supported my decision to come off the tablets and now I’m so glad I did.
Obviously an illness such as depression isn’t just going to go away instantly overnight, I still have it but at the moment I’m managing to cope with it, without the tablets, and I’m really happy that I’m able to do this.
I would go back on the tablets in a heartbeat if I felt it was the best thing for me to do, and I fully support anyone who is on antidepressants during pregnancy, as it is not an easy decision either way, but for me, and my little family, I am pleased to be keeping afloat in the weeks coming up to my baby boy joining my family. So if I post a little more often than is bearable about my excitement during pregnancy, know that this is what is keeping me going and be patient…