So as I mentioned in my August plans post this morning, I had to have a chest scan done today to check whether I had a blood clot on my lung after experiencing breathlessness since last week. It has been a worrying weekend waiting to be able to have the scan, and having to be injected with blood thinners by Ed in case that’s what it was.
Fortunately, after the scan this morning, I was given the good news that it wasn’t a blood clot and my breathlessness is most likely down to the baby having a growth spurt and pushing my organs upwards, thus making it harder for me to breathe.
To say I am relieved is an understatement, although I am still concerned about the levels of radiation that it was necessary to expose the baby to in order to rule the blood clot out (I had a chest x ray on Friday and today’s scan involved having to have radioactive solution injected into my vein).
Although the amount of radiation is fairly low, it was still upsetting to have to agree to it, although I was told in no uncertain terms that if it was a blood clot, and left untreated, myself and my baby’s lives would be in danger as it can be fatal.
The whole situation really helped put things in perspective for me. I’ve been worrying about how little of our friends and family are going to be coming to our wedding, worrying about money and saving enough money for said wedding, worrying about work, worrying about how I look during pregnancy (pretty awful, but who cares?!), worrying about every little thing. I would even worry myself about worrying.
Being faced with having something potentially life threatening, I realised how little all these things mattered. The only thing that matters to me is my children and being healthy and here for them, and my baby and keeping him growing nicely inside my belly until he’s ready to come out and meet us all.
It’s also made me see who my true friends are, the ones that are there for me through thick and thin. The ones who have gone out of their way to not just comment on my Facebook statuses, but to message me and check up on how I am, to send their love and show me how much I mean to them.
And it isn’t just old friends, but also some of my newest friends. I returned home this afternoon to a beautiful bunch of flowers from the girls who are a part of the new collaborative YouTube channel – In Real Life, who I’ve only recently started chatting online to. It was such a thoughtful and lovely thing for them to have done and I’m so grateful.
Life is too short to make an effort with those who don’t make an effort with you. From now on I will be ensuring I don’t worry myself about the little things, but keep things in perspective. I am so grateful to have my health, my children, my amazingly supportive fiancé, family and close friends, and my third baby due in 11 weeks time.