Monday Musings – Wishing Time Away 

I have a confession to make. I’m one of those people who always focus on what they have to look forward to, and struggle to live in the moment, to appreciate the here and now. Although it’s natural to find things to be excited about, I tend to do it so much that I’m wishing my life away. 

First I wished school away, then university, then I wished away my first pregnancy. The first year of Cameron’s life I was in my last year of university and, you guessed it, I wished that time away too. 

I couldn’t wait until I turned 18

After a long 9 months I finally had my baby boy in my arms

Before long he was one

After that I fell pregnant with Carly and wished another whole 9 months of my life away. During that pregnancy her dad and I got engaged and so I found myself doubly wishing the time away. 

Halfway through my pregnancy with Carly and I just wanted my baby girl in my arms
I fully embraced my role as bride to be

I would count down the months, the weeks, the days to our wedding day, focusing all the time on that point in the future. I realised during this time that we weren’t happy, and yet I still looked forward to saying I do as it was something I felt I was meant to do. 

After we got married I was wishing away the time until our honeymoon. When our marriage ended 8 months afterwards, my obsession didn’t stop. 

I have been with Ed for almost two years and in that time I’ve found plenty to look forward to, trips away, a holiday with the kids and now of course I’m pregnant again and we all know that means another countdown. 

A family holiday to Majorca = another countdown
I document my pregnancies with weekly bump photos, wishing away the weeks I have left
I can’t wait to meet my little man!

When I turned 27 back in May it hit me how fast my life has been going by, and that maybe all my time wishing ways have resulted in me missing what’s important in life, not the big things but every day. 

I want and need to stop living in the future, jumping from one upcoming milestone to another or before I know it, my whole life will have passed me by. 

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