For as long as I can remember, I have been self conscious of my small boobs. I had hoped that pregnancy might have helped me out but, as soon as I gave birth each time, my chest size went back again. I have fluctuated with my weight since I was a teenager, but generally speaking, I have remained at around a 36B for the past ten years or so, and I have let it chip away at my self esteem for too long.
Boyfriends in the past have encouraged me to get surgery, which has further impacted my confidence when it comes to getting undressed in front of a new partner, always feeling self conscious about the size of my boobs and whether they were hoping for them to be bigger. I even went as far as booking a free consultation for a breast augmentation at one point several years ago, then chickened out. When a close friend had surgery, and the results were amazing, I was so tempted, but ultimately I haven’t had the money or guts to go ahead, which I am now quite thankful for.
It has only been recently that I have really started to appreciate my smaller boobs. Yes, I am a bit self conscious still when wearing certain clothes, and I would love to have a bit more of a cleavage in some outfits, but I am also able to pull of styles that girls with bigger boobs are unable to, and my chest isn’t sagging as much as I age, which is always a plus. I have heard awful stories from others about back pain, stretch marks and generally uncomfortable side effects from having a larger chest, so perhaps it isn’t so bad to have a smaller chest.
Lately I have started to embrace my smaller chest by wearing pretty, feminine underwear sets, rather than hiding away under a padded bra all the time, and I go braless a fair bit, to give my boobs a bit of a rest and because I am able to, without the issues that bigger chested girls might have. I am learning to love the body I have, including my smaller chest, taking time to appreciate how I look in the mirror, instead of constantly covering myself up and hiding under baggy jumpers when I am chilling out at home.
I don’t want my insecurities about my own body to transfer onto my children, especially my daughter who, at eight years old, is heading into an impressionable stage in her development. I want to show the children that having smaller boobs, or bigger hips doesn’t have to define you and is perfectly normal. I hope that, by accepting my own insecurities, I can help them grow up to be comfortable and confident in their own skin, because I regret all those years that I didn’t feel happy with my own body, despite there being nothing wrong with it.
How do you deal with insecurities about your body?
