Wow, that title all sounds a little bit final, doesn’t it? The thing is, typing this out has had me second guessing myself, but ultimately I know it makes sense for our family to stay as it it. For us, three kids is enough. Any more and I honestly think we would struggle, that the whole family dynamic would be stretched, and that isn’t something I am actively encouraging, despite initially dreaming of having more children after I had Benjamin.
At that time, I think the main reason behind those thoughts was his birth and how it had affected my mental health. I suffered birth trauma after my labour with him and I found it hard to come to terms with the fact that I wouldn’t go through pregnancy and birth again. Since having birth trauma therapy, I have made peace with what happened and I no longer have that burning desire to add to my family that I once had.
I always thought I would know when I had finished having children, and I guess to an extent I have reached that stage. I no longer feel broody when I see a newborn baby and I don’t get feelings of jealousy or longing when I see a pregnancy announcement online. I have three children whom I love to pieces and am happy being their mother. I don’t see us with another child in our future.
However, I am well aware that I am by no mean past the age of having children. At twenty nine, I most likely have a good number of child bearing years ahead of me and I know that I may change my mind at some point or something may happen which results in our family growing once more. I am ok with that happening.
Right now though, I am content with our family as it is. I have spent the majority of my twenties either pregnant or with a newborn baby and, although a little apprehensive, I am looking forward to turning thirty next May and enjoying this next phase of my life without needing to check for baby puke on my clothes before I leave the house. All three children, generally, sleep through the night these days and I finally feel like I am Emma again as well as being a mum.
I absolutely love my children and becoming a mum three times is something I am immensely proud of but I am also looking forward to leaving the baby stage behind now and moving on with our life as a family of five. I am sure there will be lots to learn as the children grow and I have heard that the teenage years are a bitch, but I am excited to experience it all as a family unit. My life has been a bit of a rollercoaster, it has to be said, with lots of ups and downs especially over the past decade, but I am happy that it has resulted in three beautiful children and a husband I love dearly.
Have you finished having children? How did you know?