As soon as I discovered Britney Spears’ memoir had been released, I had to get my hands on it. Amazon delivered the goods in less than 24 hours (thanks Prime membership) and I literally couldn’t wait to start reading it, diving in for 30 minutes yesterday afternoon when I should have been getting ready for a Halloween party.
I returned from the party at 11pm and read solidly for the next 2.5 hours until my eyes were drooping and I knew I needed to sleep or I would time travel as the clocks went back. This morning I read for half an hour before my spin class and finished the book on my return, unable to stop turning pages until it was done.
My verdict? Obviously from the above, I loved the book but it was undeniably sad, probably one of the saddest books I have read. I was a big Britney fan as a young girl, I grew up with her music, and I still continued to enjoy her songs well into my teens and early twenties. During the #FreeBritney movement, I wouldn’t say I was actively trying to help her, but I was concerned by what was going on, as so many fans were, and I was relieved when she finally managed to break free from her conservatorship and find freedom.
There have been so many conspiracy theories since that point about Britney, all over the internet but especially on TikTok, and it’s hard not to get caught up in it all and start doubting what is real and what isn’t. Having read the book now, I think the most likely reality is that a woman who went through a lot of trauma in her life and was effectively kept prisoner both in her own home and, at one point, in an institution whilst on lithium, an incredibly strong and dangerous drug, has come out the other side understandably not the same as she was before. She talks a lot about reverting back to childhood during the conservatorship and that seems to still be the case in some of her social media posts. I think what had the most impact on me from reading the book was understanding just how much her parents’ actions had on her mental health and her ability to enjoy something which she once loved.
There’s been a whole lot of interest in her relationship with Justin Timberlake in the media off the back of this book and sure, she does talk about him a fair bit, which is understandable as he was her first love and proper relationship, but she doesn’t speak about him maliciously, just with sadness and more fondness than he deserves. It is interesting that this is the story that the press are focusing on, rather than their own role in the downfall of pop’s princess.
I don’t want to go into detail, but I would recommend reading the book if you are a fan, or if you are interested in finally listening to Britney’s side of the story after so many (13!) years of being silenced by her father, who by all accounts sounds like an evil man. It was certainly a page turner, it’s just a shame that it was written and finished prior to her most recent ex’s departure from her life as it made me feel even sadder that the fairytale ending she had hoped for never materialised. I finished the book just wanting to give her a big hug. So very sad.
I’ve also been listening to her songs today and finding some lines though provoking now I know more of what was going on behind the scenes during her life. A couple in particular really hit home, including this from My Prerogative:
Everybody’s talkin’ all this stuff about meWhy don’t they just let me live? (Tell me why)I don’t need permission, make my own decisions (oh)That’s my prerogative (that’s my prerogative).
