I first planned to write this post on our return from Mexico back in April. Having been away from Benjamin for ten days, I figured that my body would have stopped producing milk, and that Benjamin would have stopped being interested in feeding from me by the time I returned.
It turns out neither of those things happened. In fact, when Benjamin and I were reunited, it was like no time had passed. He continued to want to feed from me twice a day. However, my heart wasn’t in it as it had been before. During my time away, I had felt like a new woman, as cliche as that sounds. If I was being totally honest, I’d had enough of breastfeeding. I no longer wanted to do it.
Since then, over the past month, Benjamin has fed less and less from me. We started with Ed taking over bedtime, and dropped the night feed. I was still feeding Benjamin each morning before putting him down for a nap, but about a week ago he started showing less and less interest, and Benjamin now hasn’t had milk from me for around 5 days.
After initially setting my goal at breastfeeding for a year, and not being sure I would be able to reach that stage, I managed to keep going and I really enjoyed my breastfeeding journey with Benjamin.
In fact, I was so content with feeding Benjamin as we neared the eighteen month mark, that I was worried about how I would feel when our journey stopped.
As it turned out, I needn’t have worried. For me, I knew when the time was right to stop feeding. Benjamin lost interest at the same time as I fell out of love with it, and it has been an easy, gentle end to the journey for us.
I would love to be able to give advice and tips on how to stop feeding, but there was nothing that stood out for me other than having somebody else take over bedtime.
Benjamin was a bit more unsettled during the night for awhile, as he had been using his night feed to send him off to sleep, but he soon got into a new pattern.
I’ve been fortunate this time round, as I have not really leaked at all, and as our feeding journey ended so gradually, I haven’t experience painful or engorged breasts at all, which is a relief.
As I finish breastfeeding, I feel at peace. I fed Benjamin for over a year and a half of his life. I am pleased that I managed to achieve a goal I set myself, and I am proud of myself for doing something I wanted to do, quietly and confidently, for us.