Why I Loved 50 Shades Darker… And No, it’s Not What You Think…  

This evening I went to see 50 shades Darker. I think it’s safe to say I didn’t really go into the film with high hopes. I’m sorry if you loved the first film, but I thought it was utter crap and I thought this would be much the same. 

When my sister asked if I wanted to go with her and her friend I figured it might be worth a watch for the laughs. To be fair, when we were asked for ID on our way in I figured the sex scenes might have at least upped the ante a little but I never expected to actually like the film. 

So what was it that I found enjoyable? No, behave yourself, if wasn’t the raunchy sex scenes (although they were pretty hot actually, if a little tamer than I imagined they could have been). 

What I liked was how it made me feel (bear with me, and get your mind out of the gutter). When I met Ed sure I already had two kids, but I was so much more self confident. My unhappy marriage had just ended, I was slimmer and I felt happy and free. Ed fell in love with a different me and, although he still loves me no matter what, or so he’s told me many a time when I’ve asked him why he’s with me (yes, I’m now that lacking in self esteem, blame the depression, it’s a bitch), I want to be that girl again, the girl he fell in love with. I want to feel confident and sexy again. I want to be spontaneous with him (well, as much as I can be with three kids). 

I’m 28 in May, I’m still a young woman. I don’t want to look back at this time in my life and regret not appreciating my youth, my beauty, my sexuality. 

In my teens I enjoyed sex, I was adventurous and I did things that I’m sure will make me blush a little when I’m older. Since I’ve had my children I’ve calmed down, but perhaps a little too much. 

Sure, nobody expects a mum to be doing it three times a night and whipping out the kinky paraphernalia but I’ve never wanted the fact I’m a mother to define me. I’m still me underneath it all and I still want to feel sexy and sexual when it comes to bedtime. 

Watching 50 shades, seeing the sexual chemistry between the lead actors, it made me feel a little sad for the lack of chemistry in the bedroom at the moment. In fact, not just in the bedroom, but intimacy in general. 

Since I fell pregnant with Benjamin I’ve pretty much lived in cuddly pjs. I went from sleeping in the nude to covering up totally. Whilst there’s nothing wrong with being comfy, sometimes it’s important to feel sexy, and I haven’t. The fact I haven’t yet got down to my goal weight is something that has definitely hindered things, I don’t feel self confident with my body after three kids, and that’s definitely impacted things in the bedroom. 

Watching the film, seeing Anna and Christian kissing, making eye contact and sharing intimate secrets (along with the more raunchy stuff, of course) I made a pact with myself, I will make more of an effort, not just for Ed, but for me as well. I want to feel hot again. I want to have passion with Ed again (sorry mum, nan, any other family member who might read this and not quite want to think about my passion). 

I think a film can be a totally subjective experience. Before we went I saw a throwaway comment by another blogger, the girl is in her twenties like me but without children, without, as far as I know, a partner. She found the film awful, but maybe that has something to do with the differences in our lives. Whereas she may be having hot uninhibited sex every night of the week, I’m not. 

If you go into the film wanting something totally sexual then you might be disappointed. However, unlike the first film, this one had a storyline, which I actually enjoyed. 

I think Ed summed it up with his question when I returned ‘so, did it make you horny?’ to which I replied ‘sort of’. The film made me ‘relationship horny’. It made me want to regain what we’ve lost. And maybe that makes me the kind of ‘desperate housewife’ figure that supposedly the book’s author was, why she put pen to paper in the first place, but I’m ok with that. 

The film made me look at my life and reassess how I feel about myself, and for that reason I very much enjoyed 50 shades darker. 

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10 thoughts on “Why I Loved 50 Shades Darker… And No, it’s Not What You Think…  

  1. Kirsty Dee

    I haven’t seen the film but can relate to this. Feeling sexy is important and I’ve not been feeling that way. Must work on that as like you I think it’s important xx

    Reply

  2. MummytoDex

    I think that’s why so many women love the books and the films, it makes them rediscover their sexuality. Before I had a baby I thought it was a load of crap, but now I understand because my sex drive has been zero since baby was born.

    Reply

  3. Jaymee Heaton

    I haven’t seen either of the films nor have I read the book. It doesn’t appeal to me to be honest. I am glad you liked it though!

    Reply

  4. Rachel Bee (@RachelAnne_Bee)

    Totally get this! I both love and hate the franchise,but it does remind you that a little passion and love can go a long way – which is easily forgotten when there are babies everywhere!

    Reply

  5. Emily and Indiana

    I can really relate to this, so would be interested to see what I think when I eventually see the film xx

    Reply

  6. Mrs Mummy Harris

    The books made my sex life amazing but the first movie did nothing for me. Apple tree yard on the other hand and the first season of the affair 😜

    Reply

  7. Everything Mummy

    Totally get this, I haven’t seen it yet – loved the books though!

    Reply

  8. Babies and Beauty

    Oh yes, totally agree, I definitely became incredibly self concious after both boys and the first film definitely helped change it a bit!

    Reply

  9. Samantha

    Very interesting, not what I would expect at all. I have not read or seen either books or films, I really should get round to it x

    Reply

  10. SpookyMrsGreen

    I haven’t got round to reading the books or seeing the movies yet, but I totally agree with your sentiment. My husband and I went through a very challenging phase when our second child was born, and we are only now emerging from it as she approaches the age of four. The one thing that kept us together was our sex life – we are both very adventurous (although slightly inhibited due to said children). I think sex is important, and it’s about time our society stopped being so squeamish about it. We need to embrace the fun and excitement of sex, and how it makes us better people when we make deep connections with our partners. Thank you for sharing your insight. 🙂

    Reply

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